still as crazy as ever.

had a very nice dinner earlier on at Marriott just now with Eiks and Clarice. Still feel very bad to have Eiks friend pay for our dinner, though she has staff discount!! -_-

The food was generally quite tasty, can’t pick one I love most. Maybe the tea? Hehehe

2 months after completing my course, working in a different department now. I don’t see as much fracture patients anymore. I miss my old workplace, my colleagues. They are a batch of people I love. And I treat my old workplace for a 2nd home. Not like now.

It is not that I am not happy to work here. It is that I am not as cheerful as before and I feel the unfairness in this place.

1. Workload is like shit and nobody bothers.
2. Not enough staff- work as usual. Superior don’t bother to give us extra staff.
3. Neglected. I don’t think that woman even remembers my or our name, she only remembers to ask us to do research. Do research, so she will have something to show off!! Fuck off!
4. Super bias, like we are blind. – story for another day.

I really don’t know if  it is I am still adapting or it is I can’t accept or I can’t be bothered. I am thinking is the latter. I am tired. Tired of my job, because of this place.

Who says we earn a lot? NO! It is not even enough. We put ourselves down in this job, bend ourselves to suit people, pacify people!! So who cares about us???

Fuck my job!!! I am tired!!

No name

I can’t concentrate to study so I am blogging. I hope to revive this blog! Hahaha!

Advanced diploma course had been a very fruitful and fun time for me, I met interesting people in my course. Whom I guess these friends can last forever! Of course, I still get to meet those people I can’t get along with. This is life, what can I say…

I seen true colours of my own friends, scary indeed. I gained a lot, I know who care about me and who wont bother if I die… Anyways all these is not important..

What is most important is I am going back to work soon!!! Yea!! I quite look forward to it cus a bit sick of school already.. Especially attachments, we get all these people telling us weird things, ordering us around.. Urgh!!! Mad disgusting!!! And we see how other hospitals work too… SUper Duper Mad Disgusting!!!! Won’t even think of myself admitting there…

And these people still think they are so great, *bleah*

Hohoho!! I going to go start studying again!!

=))

happy halloween!!

I have not blog for a very long time due to laziness. Lol.

I am back in NYP, doing my advance diploma in orthopaedic. I am into the 3rd week of school, still enjoying and coping. Stress already set in with all the research and psychosocial assignments. Still searching for articles.. =((

Being in school make me have more time to rest my feet and catch up on the movies I missed..Very happy!!

At times, there is still unhappiness. I don’t know there are so many selfish people around us. It is not that I don’t want to share. Do u see the problem is: in the first place, u didn’t even offer to share!!! I seriously want not to talk to u anymore…

Of course, I kind of miss work.. I am used to working!! hahaha.. School is good too, getting to know all my classmates and gossiping, complaining about our hospitals and the drs!!!! We compared our institutions and discovered that sgh is slighty better.

… going to catch a movie, Coraline.

At a point… I feel lost.

Goodbye and hope you are feeling much more better over there. If the accessibility of medical services is better, maybe you will be still around. Ambulance refuse to send u to the hospital- may they be cursed.

I feel lost. The only thing I could do is  to help mummy book bus tickets.

I am sorry I couldn’t see you after you were sick, I should have taken time off work. The last time I saw you was during CNY. You were still doing well. I am sorry now for not attending the funeral.

Life is really unpredictable.

Though we were not really close, I hope you are relief from all the pain you were suffering from.

Take Care.

We do love and care about you.

Not possible at all

Like what a friend of mine have said, why do I care so much. If this person means nothing to me, no matter what this person say should not affect me!

It is kind ofaffecting right now. My mind just keep replaying the whole incident. argh!

Sorry if I made u angry or said something inappropriate. I was not trying to be funny.That was the first thing that came to my mind. After some reflection. Yea, it is kind of stupid to say that!

I am not that knowledgeable, I do make a effort to learn. I did not lie to you. I really did try my best.

I don’t know whether you have any expectations from me. I apologise if I do not meet them. But that is who I am.

Still want to express my gratitude. I learnt something today. And I hope you will nv read this, which I think you will not.

Let’s wait to see how things turn out.

Till I get enough sleep,
the girl who is still trying her best.

What am I missing?

I was going thru the posts from last time. I realised my life has changed. Last time I always blog about happy things and outings with my friends.

Nowadays are just rantings from work… There is lots of things I miss from my polytechnic life!!

I wish I could go back to school…

I miss cycling with my friends. ( and of cus the occasional bumping into celebrities. LOL.)

I miss the occasional chalet and bqq though we have our differences. – let’s have one this year again!

I miss going orchard withpik sun!! I miss Sentosa..

I miss that phuket trip with Jasmine and Kuan Yong. (can we go again in nov?)

I miss the crazy and cold hong kong trip with Jasmine and SzeMin.

I miss me and SzeMin running to class when we took a late 159. -she cant run now anymore.. too pregnant!

I miss the swimming sessions we always go for in between lessons and the tons of suntan oil I applied.

I miss Jasmine‘s cursing sessions whenever she is driving and we are late for class.

I miss Jasmine‘s irritating voice on the morning waking me up to go eat wanton mee. (I have not eat tt wanton mee for ages.)

I miss the serious and irritated faces SzeMin, Pik Sun and PeiNingput on whenever we are discussing about ICAs. (They do get very violent sometimes.. haha)

I miss sleeping in the NYP library. I miss talking loudly in the discussion room and getting hushed by the librarian.

I miss going to PeiNing house to sleep and watch movies!!

I miss going to Ikea with PeiNing and Pik Sun. I always end up with lots of rubbish!! (screams: HOTDOGS AND MEATBALLS!!!)

I miss going north canteen, south canteen, FJ, macdonalds with my classmates!!!!!!

I miss talking, sleeping, eating macdonalds inside the lecture theatre.

I miss the lab lessons and always guessing who is having tt smelly feet!! Till this day, I still have no idea.

I miss that very cold air-conditioner of the computer lab.

erm.. I do not miss the cadaver in the bio lab..

I miss going to that particular toilet near the library with my friends.-the clean and nice one.

The list still goes on. There is really a lot of things I miss!!!!! Esp all my friends!!

I am sure there is a lot things I miss out. If I do remember them, I will write them down again.

To be continued…

the old times.

Where had the smiles and passion disappeared to?

I am struggling between hiding or showing. Sometimes, you don’t know whether you should stand up or hide behind. If I choose to show, I may not be where I am now. If I hide, people will tend to bully me. Tell me how..

I choose the way I live my life. There are just some things I do not like to do. Everyone is different, I am just not that extraordinary girl who obeys every order.

At times, I am angry but I don’t show it. I shrug it off or dismiss u as very idiotic. If I am considered young and inexperienced, doesn’t mean my sensory gland is not working. I can still sense the underlying meaning behind your words and actions.

I was never really very hurt till that day when someone made a very crude comment to me. You can ask why it hurts? It is because I never thought that someone would make such a comment. A comment that involves one of my dearest ones. Family- I can only have one, but I can have many jobs. I am upset. Till today, I still am very upset. I can never forget that comment ever. NEVER.

I have been pondering about an idea for quite long. Now, I have decided. Nothing can change my mind. It is very unfair and very obvious. Why do I have to put up with this? I am also human with blood flowin in my body…

Unfair. –

Whatever it is… I want to thank all my friends(Jasmine, NeoNeo, Miss Woo, Zi Hui, Wang Jing, Farhah, Kak-kak Aini) for their concern. And to everyone who listen to my woes and complains, esp Juliette who received it 1st-hand!!! Those whose names are not mentioned, you are not forgotten… just too long a list.

************

I dedicated the message below to one of my dearest friend:

Most of the times, our environment force/mould us into what we are. No matter how hard we try, we can never change the way things work. I know you are tired. All of us are tired too.

I noticed that the smiles on your face are decreasing and frowns are increasing… Very scary!! I still like the old bubbly you.

This difficult period is changing us all. And nowadays, we go out lesser. I really hope this period will be over soon and everything will be back to normal. Though things will never be the same again.

Smile more. Take a step back and look at everything from a different view.

Take Care.

************

Till my cough gets better.

X.o.X.o. shin^_^

STart of 2009, End of 2008

2008 hadbeen quite the roller coaster ride for me starting from 1/1/2008..  Lol. The ride has never stop, even till now.

My health has not been that good either, kept seeing doctors. For now, they had all settled down. I hope my health will be better in 2009. I shall start to take good care of myself. Haha! very difficult with all my late nights and night shifts.

I am now 20+1.. Argh, I am in the twenties club now. And it seems that I have not achieve much in life, except for a job…

Whatever it is, I just don’t like 2008. It has not been a good year for me: my health, irritating pple in my life and etc…

Can I wish that 2009 be better?? (Now that irritating pple are gone from my life.)

I am working on 31/12/08 and 1/1/09… Arr I want to go countdown. There had not been much celebration this year, last year was better…

Our friendship has certainly  drifted apart.. gatherings minus.. Is that what working mould us into?? hmm…. busy schedules, new lives, boyfriends…

That’s all.

Till 2009…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

P.S. Want to thank everyone for their presence on my birthday and of cus all the lovely gifts!!! TQ~

P.S.S. Looking forward to 2009 ..

Let things be how it is right now…

I don’t want anything to change.

Happy with the present situation.

Not going to be silly for the 3rd time… That feeling kind of sucks.

2 times in a year is more than enough.

I hate 2008!!!

2008 has been not that fantastic for me, I think.

Sigh. Maybe my expectations was set too high up.

Whatever… I can only look forward and not backwards now..

 

Love,
X.O.X.O
Shin Yee.